Ricky Bobby Fears the Fupa

I get the Sporting News each week and this week there's an article written by the fictional character, Ricky Bobby. I encourage each and every one of you to work these into your conversation. Here are some outsanding quotes:

"I wake up every morning and take a long piss of excellence."

"I vomit victory and crap desire."

"It's the fastest that gets paid and it's the fastest that gets laid."

On his wife: "She's hotter than eating 10,000 packs of Big Red all at once. If you rate her butt on a scale of 100, it's easily a 94. Her butt is so hot it made a plane fall out of the sky and caused fatal traffic accidents - which was great because Hank and all the guys at McReedy Funeral Homes do such a terrific job."

"Me and my smoking hot wife have two boys, Walker and Texas Ranger, and they're winners, just like Ricky Bobby. If we wanted two losers, we would've named them Doctor Quinn and Medicine Woman."

"Me and Call call ourselves Shake and Bake. Growing up together, me and Call always thought of duo nicknames, like Peanut Butter and Jelly, and Farts and Matches, but nobody really wanted to be Farts. So Shake and Bake was by far the coolest."

If you want daily updates by someone not a reporter, a true fan of the game then please go to Bogging the Boys. It is the best information on the Cowboys on the internet, the guy is truly dedicated, he's in Cali right now and attending camp for each and every one of you.